An Open Letter To The Autism Parents: Some Harsh Truths!
I have an autism son and I am proud of him. He was totally non-verbal, would stay in his own world with glazed eyes and would not heed any attention to the world go by. He would be upset very easily and bang his head, throw himself on hardwood floors with big thuds if he couldn’t communicate his needs and desires. It pains my heart to see these kids suffer. Yes I am saying they are suffering. Off course it is suffering, not being able to communicate with you their need or what’s bothering their head. You see I am neurodiverse too. I had memory and learning issues. Back then, ADHD, ASD etc. were not very common or well-studied. It still is at its developmental stage. No matter how much I tried I couldn’t understand people and my social skills were negative. Yet I went on and got PhD. So being a neurodiverse is not a curse. How I wish I could go to my younger self and explain what’s happening in her head. That’s why I feel my son. I feel all the kids who have autism. I weep for you. I am here for you.
I have seen from experience working with many autism parents, both in the social media platforms and coaching sessions, that in the autism community the parents and the autist themselves have about 4 stages of emotional timeline. The 1st stage being denial, 2nd running around and exhausting themselves to find answers and treatments, 3rd is Accepting and 4th….Martyrdom and Badge wearing syndrome (don’t google this, I made that up). You see the 4th stage is the one which is the bane of autism movements and this wishy washy that autism is a Gift! and that Autism is irreversible; It is some sort of a super ability. And trying to heal is like trying to torture and destroy the kids exceptional talent!!! How far you indeed are from the truth!! I have heard and seen how hard ABA, ABT etc. therapies are for the child. It is like forcing the kid to walk with a large splinter in his heel. Remove the splinter and wait the foot to heal then the child will learn all that automatically. Trust nature and how we have learned. I am vouching for changing diet and lifestyle which will rectify the gut, ie. Remove the splinter, and maybe a little speech therapy (depending on the severity or nature of the program available). Because there were many young souls who were indeed tortured in the name of these therapies that they have lingering PTSD which has made this movement go into order that autism should not be touched, healed….we need to let it be. It is not a super ability, it is a disability. We can change that. I have seen many teen stimming, having spasms and they didn’t look like having fun to me! Why should I let my child go through all that when we can do something about it?
Autism is skyrocketing. There should be a reason why it is increasing at a breakneck speed. We ARE doing something wrong…don’t you think? Medical world blames this on genetics. Yet genetic disorders don’t show such sudden increase. Epigenetic studies are rising and more doctors are correlating the symptoms not with genes but with another physiological part of the anatomy. Information of Nutrition is not included in the Medical Schools and consequently doctors have very little idea of the value of nutrition. They need research to prove eggs have vitamin D, Fish has omega 3, green food are the healthiest etc. etc. Why do you need a research paper and government telling you and your doctors prescribing you with Healthy Foods? After diagnosis official medicine has nothing to offer. So the parents are left with disabled kids to take care of and no help. They are wounded. You are wounded. And so when you see “normal” kids or people you go on the defensive. You wear autism as a badge and absolutely refuse to heal. You are only given the option of therapies like ABT, ABA, etc. which are leaving these kids with Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome (PTSD). You Can Change all that.
Learn more on nutrition. Learn about Gut Health and its direct connection between the Gut and the brain. I absolutely insist you to dig up. What I am saying is to not take this wishy-washy from the medical community who are saying you can’t do anything. The brain wants to do easy things, familiar things so we accept the diagnosis and seal our lips and tie our hands. Also change is hard to do, unfamiliar and uncomfortable so we stay in the world that we have made familiar for us. Get up. If you really want be a hero for your kid…than be uncomfortable, do uncomfortable and hard work of finding out the healthy options or alternatives. Be the change you want to see in your kid. If you eat cookies and KFC, your poor kid will know that as food. Feed him things that when planted in the soil grows… steer clear of starches at least until the gut heals….read up, watch that grain free tutorial in YouTube. I never forced him to eat well. I emulated the changes I wanted to see in him. I stopped all the junks and he never saw us eat. So he didn’t know pizza existed …well only in the cartoons!!
Please be the Real hero. There is no glory in not trying to heal your child. There is no martyrdom in not helping him/her. I am not asking you to Change him forcefully and torture him.
Giving good food to your kid is NOT torture….keeping him Unhealthy IS!!
Upcoming New Series: Autism Nutrition
#1 Start at the Root: Gut Health