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  • The REAL Autism Awareness We Need To Be Aware Of

    Salam Alaikum, I’m back again.

    Anyways, today I’m taking this time to chat with you guys about my take on what real Autism Awareness should be. As an autism mom, and a professional who’s working with kids on the spectrum, for the last about three years, I have had my fair share of real-life experience, lived experience, whereby I have seen differences that others are not accustomed to, or they’re not seeing the stuff that’s going on.

    So in that context, I wanted to come in here and then really share with you guys about the real awareness we all should be aware of in April (Autism Awareness Month). And this is also a month of Ramadan, and I have made a, I have made a promise to myself that in this month, and both Ramadan and Autism Awareness Month be in one class, I have decided to come in, and then share the real side of what autism is, or the real side of what helping your child means and how you can have the best support for yourself and your children, child or children on the spectrum. Okay. So let’s start.

    All right. So what is autism?

    Autism is not a disease that you can cure. It’s a neurodevelopmental delay. So for those of you who do not know, a neurodevelopmental delay is something where the neurons of the brain are having delay or difficulty flourishing themselves, just like a neurotypical child’s brain would, okay, so the name itself, disorder means that the natural order is not in progress.

    And there is a pause somewhere, which, in my experience in my faith, and I truly believe that we can start, right again, with the proper support. Even though we accept autism, it’s not the fact that we are not trying to help our child on the spectrum, right?

    So what real awareness is, is this one, first of all, we need to accept our kids on the spectrum. We as parents, you know, me as a mom, and my husband, or you as the mom and your husband, first and foremost, as the parents, we have to accept our child’s condition, okay. Because if we do not accept a challenge, or a project, or a test, then we cannot keep going on, on the journey, right?

    For example, if you sit on the exam, exam table, and then your teacher gave you the scripts and questions and everything, and you’re like, No, that’s not me.

    I don’t want to give this exam why me?

    Why am I giving this test?

    That’s not fair on you or the child itself, okay.

    So, the process of going about really helping your child is first to accept the child’s condition, because when you accept yourself then have you do not have that resistance energy, okay, you do not have the resistance towards finding the solution.

    Autism, acceptance should also not look like this, it should not look like you accepting his situation and you’re like giving up like, you don’t want to go forward. You don’t want to help your child be the best version because you know it is possible or available to you.

    So what I was saying is when we are accepting our child, when we are accepting the condition, that’s when we will have the mental capacity and strength and energy to go forward with the test. Just like when you are given a test. You just accept that it’s your test and you start scribbling away you use your intuition, you use your power, all strength, and everything, and put all the hard work into the test so that you come out of it as a winner. Okay? All right. So your child has a neurodevelopmental delay, which can be supercharged which can be recovered and can be transformed, which can be done a lot of things. A lot like another disorder.

    A child’s condition can be managed properly can be maintained properly, okay? So if you are, if you are not accepting, then what’s happening is you will not want to find the solution. And if you accept and then give up, then also you will not find the solution, you see both where there is a problem, okay.

    So when we are accepting the condition, for example, let’s say just for example sake because diabetes also is a disorder. So when a diabetic patient gets this diagnosis that he or she has that diabetes. So if the person just says, I don’t accept I have diabetes, I’ll keep on eating sugar. I’ll keep on having my stressful life.

    I’ll keep on doing all the things that I have been doing because I do not accept my diagnosis. Is that going to help the patient? No. So what will help that person is accepting that he or she has diabetes, and then find out what causes what can be done to maintain the problem, what can be done to reduce the problems and symptoms that the person is having?

    Similarly, with our children on the spectrum, we need to find out the root causes of why our child’s brain is not behaving properly, why our child is not understanding commands, and why our child is not having proper executive functioning, motor functioning, and all things in between. Okay. All right. So another piece of autism awareness and acceptability is autism is not a super ability, just like we are trying to make it way more out of proportion.

    Autism is not a superability …. ASK that mom, who has not been sleeping for years, ask that child who has been hyperactive all day long, having 18 hours of you know, sleep awake time, and whatnot. Okay, so, and the child is not having social.

    So autism is not a super ability, it does not mean that your child has suddenly become Superman or a super child. What it means is your child has a lot of struggles. Okay? And the experts and advocates, trying to say that this is a super ability, and we just have to let them be. It’s not helping the child, it’s not helping the mom.

    So what autism is, is a different ability, the brain has some different capacity, the brain has some different struggles, which, when we help, it will be easier for that brain to catch up for the brain to be able to sustain and function and be independent because if I accept my child has autism has severe disabilities, learning disabilities, social anxiety and whatnot, then what’s happening is I am understanding that he or she will have a lot of struggles throughout their life. Right?

    So as parents moms and dads, we have our responsibility toward our children to make sure that they can survive on their own and thrive on their own. Our intention with Autism Success Academy is not just to survive, but to thrive, okay.

    We are all about having that success. And now that you know that, this is not a super ability This is not a disease, and neither it is permanent, like a permanent as in like, the severity is not permanent. You can recover a lot of things, but it also has a connotation about your child needing that support to be the best version of himself or herself.

    I am neurodiverse I have had a really tough time in my cChildhood because people wouldn’t understand me, I wouldn’t understand people, my parents would understand me. And then I would be physically abused a lot, mentally, emotionally, psychologically, in all aspects, okay? I was even, let’s say if I had struggled in school, I wasn’t able to tell my mom about the struggle, and then my teachers would bully me, and my friends would bully me.

    So, I believe that awareness should be the type of awareness whereby the condition is accepted by society and is accepted by the human in general. And support is given to the extent and degree and type that the child needs.

    That’s the perfect world that we want. And you know, as in what happens in life, everything is not perfect. So you have to step up your game and then help your child.

    Here are the five ways that you can help others except for your child, and also you can help your child be the best version of themselves.

    I keep on saying about these five pillars that your child needs are no 1: A Natural Diet which is a well-balanced diet and good nutrition, a good source of vitamins and minerals and things that the brain needs to function properly to catch up on the delays.

    So apart from the diet, we have the detoxification because our world our life, our food, and everything in between has contamination has chemicals has toxins and lots of things going on. And we know that all those toxins and chemicals that affect the brain affect the body in very negative ways, okay. So our attention should be to making sure that there is as little a chemical lifestyle as possible. As, as natural food can be our food, and then whatever that we use is where everything should be from the nature or as much as natural as possible.

    The third thing that we need to make sure and ensure is a holistic lifestyle. Because the stress, the anxiety, the modern way of life is not conducive and conducive for proper development, let alone this affects the modern life that we have, you know, like nuclear family staying in an apartment and not seeing nature for days, that is affecting not just the neurodiverse kids, but it’s also affecting neurotypical kids.

    Then 4th we also need to have conscious parenting, what does conscious parenting mean? conscious parenting is understanding your child’s need, understanding how his or her brain works, and giving that brain the support the understand the parenting pieces, that is needed by the child, to be able to be independent, to be able to flourish, to be able to blossom, to be able to become the best version of himself or herself.

    If we do not know what the problem is, and we just accept what we are told, then we are just following the blind, you know, the blind, guiding the blind, it’s a lot like this, I highly suggest and recommend to you all to do your research.

    Because as I keep diving deeper and deeper into this, I am finding lots and lots more connections that are missing in the real world. Because when you go to the doctor, they are the doctors and the professionals, the autism professionals are the people that we go towards, you know, to whom that we go to get the real awareness is to understand what’s going on with our child.

    And if those people themselves are not equipped with all the latest research, they are not equipped with the open heart and an open mind needed, then we are in trouble because though they’re kind of blind, and then we are just following the blind so we are becoming blind as well. Okay.

    And many of these professionals don’t have autism kids, they do not know how it is to raise a child on the spectrum. They are rarely Autism Adults or I don’t use the word autistic. So I’m sorry for that. If you’re not understanding what I mean.

    So our real autism adult, an adult with autism who has become successful, we should go to those people to understand and help and equip ourselves to become the to help our children to become the best version of themselves. Right? Okay.

    And the fifth thing that I always keep on saying is mum’s emotional health and well-being the importance of your stability, your acceptability, and your understanding because we are all made of energy, we are all made of vibration.

    So when I, as a mom, if I am not thriving, if I am not happy, if I’m not healthy, then I can not take care of my child properly, or give him more than what’s needed. Because if my cup is empty, I cannot pour from that cup. So my cup needs to be overflowing, overflowing, you know, like, keep filling, filling, filling, and then there’s overflow and then the overflow you are giving to your child and this world, that’s when you will not feel like you are less, you’re exhausted, you are, your brain is not working properly.

    You are super foggy yourself. Okay. So when I was working with my child, initially, what happened was I was not accepting the diagnosis. I was not accepting the diagnosis. I was just waiting for the world to take the problem out of me.

    I have to be honest, because as I said, in this month of Ramadan, I will be the best honest version of me and then keep saying what is the truth for me, and for those who I serve, and if it resonates with you, then you are my people as well. Okay.

    So when I was when my son was first diagnosed, I didn’t accept the diagnosis I did not accept did not want to be, did not have the courage, I did not dare to accept my child’s condition except for my child’s situation, because I was neurodiverse, I know how hard that is how painful life is when the world doesn’t understand you, and you do not understand the world.

    That went on for about two years. And then slowly, bit by bit, I was like, this is not working for me, waiting for, you know, official diagnosis waiting for official people to step in waiting for the protocol that’s going on that we should follow, because whether you are in Bangladesh, or any other countries or country of the world, everywhere, we have similar sort of treatment or facilities for autism, okay. So I stopped waiting for others to help me.

    I accepted my child’s condition, but I did not accept that he is his condition is permanent. Because I had it in me, I felt this urge that I need to help my son to thrive. Because if I am dead, if I’m not here, then who’s going to take care of my child?

    Even if not, like me, at least, I couldn’t bear with it that my son would always be, you know, like, under someone else’s. I lack a better word. You know, I just sometimes I still feel like there is a part of me, which is still traumatized because nobody wants to have a struggle nobody wants to have an exam, which we do not know how to answer. We are not prepared for this test. Let’s say we studied all night, nine-month for math, no, nine-month for chemistry. And then on the exam day, you are given a math paper, and this is your final exam and the result affects you for your entire life. Okay.

    So yeah, the fifth point that is that will help you be aware of what’s going on and help your child is you understanding your emotional health and well-being because you need to create that boundary, you need to create that acceptance inside of you. And then only people will understand and give you that because if we feel like just because I am an autism mom, others will understand my problem.

    It’s not going to happen. Nobody understands nobody else’s problem in our business, you have to be the one taking full responsibility because we are 100% responsible 100% of the time. How so? So you’re responsible for the way that life can happen to you. But you have to have that faith and thought that life happens for you. Life does not have to happen to you, but life happens to you.

    So whenever something happens, we can do it in two ways. Either we just reject the happening, okay? Or we accept it, and then we give our best shot. Okay? So that’s how we are responsible because something can happen to me, but it’s how I react to it that determines the result, the outcome, and the end goal. Okay. All right. So with that being said, I wish you all a happy Ramadan, let me know in the comment if any of this resonated with you if you truly believe that your child’s brain is not permanently disabled, like we are sometimes told, because until age, until the age of you know, like seven-ish, the brain still has a lot of capacity is still a lot moldable.

    I have worked with nine-year-old kids, and we have seen a lot of improvement as well. So what I’m saying is naturally and progressively brain has brain improves, and can be a lot more how to say like, supercharged, transformed in the early stages of life. So because that’s when the brain is more neuroplastic, that’s when you can mold it, and reshape it the way that you want or the child needs.

    So now you can do that by making sure that your child has the proper nutrition the child has a clean environment, inside and outside the child has a holistic lifestyle, you know, gadget-free, as less as possible nature play playing outside you giving time to your child. And I sometimes see that you know, some professionals writing in their social media posts that the parents are to blame. You know, they are very angry and very annoyed with the parents wanting their child to thrive and survive fast. What’s wrong with that?

    What’s wrong with a mom asking or demanding or commanding their child to become the best version of themselves as soon as possible? Because we Alhamdulillah see a lot of good results in two or three months within two or three months. Okay, so why shouldn’t other parents get the same opportunity, get the same opportunity of experiencing those lovely, magical transformations in front of their eyes.

    So I would also suggest autism professionals rethink their work to rethink where they’re standing to rethink why they have started this journey in the first place. Because if you came to this just like a profession, then you need to work hard on yourself.

    But if you have come if you have chosen this, this sector, this niche, because you want to help the child, then I request beg, beg you to read more, to research more to understand more on how you can truly help just because you were taught some five or six stuff or 10 or 15, you know, like, just because you were taught some modalities and you truly believe and you are very much stick stuck to this thing that this is the only thing that works.

    That’s not helping our children. Okay, that’s not helping our children.

    So in this month of Ramadan, and in April autism awareness, I highly suggest requesting that all of us who are in this niche who is autism moms or dads or a professional working with the child, learn more, understand more to give more time to read the latest research to give more, have an open, open idea and try to feel how it feels to be an autism mom try to feel how it feels to be on autism dad.

    Thank you so much for being here with me. I’ll catch you in the next one.

  • Autumn & Autism: How To Keep Your Kid(s) Healthy This Fall.

    The Ultimate guide to Fall and how you can ensure the best health, immunity and enjoyment of this season!!

    If you are a Fall Fanatic like me you are in the vibes now already. Autumn is magical and slow paced. It also brings about major season change from sulty heat to chilly mornings. Transitioning your kid through this change esp in the pandemic may seem daunting.

    Thats why we are going to talk about Taking care and ensuring healthy fall for your bub. Get your hot chocolate, snuggle up with a blankie and lets read on…

    Boosting Immunity

    About 80%…YES EIGHTY Percent of Immune system resides in human gut and that’s why ensuring gut health will ensure strong protection against pathogens, virus and yucky ailments like flu, cold, allergy, eczema and other skin conditions. A great way to make sure gut health of your autism kid is at its best is to have a diet rich in probiotic and gut healing food. Probiotic and probiotic rich fermented food are best support to increasing favourable microflora (bacteria, yeast, fungi etc. colony). Good bacteria helps in digestion of food, creates enzymes, helps build immune cells and also fights bad bacteria.

    Below are some fantastic and easy ways to build immunity through gut health.

    • Give your child an age appropriate probiotic 1st thing in the morning on an empty stomach, after brushing teeth and cleaning tongue.
    • Clean your child’s teeth and tongue 2x a day before breakfast and after dinner. Regularly use a torch light to check the tongue and inside to see if white coating is present in the mouth tissues. This white gunk is a sign of toxin build up and also probable Candida invasion.
    • Morning is the best time for fruitilicious breakfast. Slowly cook fruits in low heat then serve with slivered almonds or walnuts or nut butter. Or blend that into thick smoothie bowls.
    • Give bone broths frequently. If your child do not take broth directly use that to cook his meals instead of water. Bone broth serves gelatin and other micronutrients and minerals that help repair gut wall and also provides minerals from strong bones, brain development and blood cells.
    • Play outside regularly on grass is an excellent way to ground and build a good flora. Dirt is not bad. It provides with needed bacterial supply to your child. Too much aseptinc environment (except for hygiene purpose) hinders gut flora building.
    • Regular poop business is another very important way to keep immunity high. Use natural laxatives such as prunes, pears, cooked meals, hydration and belly massage to improve regularity.
    • Another very important factor we here at Autism Success Academy swear by and that is a grain and milk free diet. Only butter, ghee and yogurt is taken since they do not contain the proteins that are usually not properly digested by autism kids (butter and ghee) or are in semi digested form (yogurt) which ensures gut healing.

    Weather Proofing Your Child!

    If you are in North America esp Canada you will ujnderstand our dilemma!! The temperatures so fast that in a matter of minutes we can go from sunny warmth to chilly northern winds. Follow the tips below to weather proof your child accordingly:

    • Dress in layers so that you can add or subtract based on the temperature outside or indoors. Pack a hoodie for all times as that will protect the ears (a major organ through which cold wind enters the body) and throat (stave off sore throats!
    • Always try your best to get Nature material such as cotton, wool etc. for their clothing and remove tags if your child has sensitivity. This ensures skin being protected from chemically treated fabrics which also creates air blockage.
    • Make them wear socks both indoors and offcourse outdoors. Remember a warm feet and a cool head and a warm belly never gets too sick!! (easter traditional knowledge)
    • The time has come to keep those cold beverages (honestly you should avoid them at all seasons, more on that in another post) out of side and out of mind. Let them sip warm water and if your child is feeling down and started to show signs of oncoming cold then give them warm ginger tea with raw honey. Do not add the honey to hot water as that will destroy the delicate heat sensitive nutrients present. Offer them warm orange juice or apple cider with cinnamon…yummm
    • Make it a habit to add citrus burst in their meals daily. Vitamin C helps building immune cells and so is Essential. Lemons, limes, orange, berries, peppers etc are all chockful of vitamin C.
    • Use essential oils in as many ways as possible. High vibration and therapeutic property holders, these are awesome way to protect and sooth skin issues, help in sore throats, cold and caughs and promotes circulation and nasal congestion. Use it to massage your kids to promote sleep. Frankincense, Lavender, Eucalyptus, Tea Tree, Sage are some must haves. Diffusers, votives, oils just pick ways to multiply the results.

    Build a Slow Lifestyle!!

    I have been a slow living enthusiast even before Slow Living was a thing 😛

    Slow living means a lifestyle close to nature, down to earth, slow paced, less technologically rich and more natural in kind. It boosts mental health and helps ground your nervous child or hyperactive kid. Here’s are some excellent tips on how to start your journey:

    • Avoid as much screen with glaring blue lights as possible. Our kids learn from us. We cant blame them for being addicted to gadgets when we are too!! They learn what they see. That’s the simplest truth. Curb time to connect with your child, play and nurture a bond so that he/she feels seen, heard, understood and safe.
    • Warm lighting and Himalayan rock salt lamps are gorgeous natural options to increase negative ions (not negative energy silly, it deflects negative energy).
    • Use natural materials for household uses such as wood, bamboo, glass or stainless steel or copper. Start ditching plastics and similar material.
    • Wake up early and write To Do for the day. This will drastically reduce the morning chaos of packing the bags and getting them dressed. A calm morning ensures a grounding and serene day for both you are your child. TRY THIS!
    • Go apple picking or farm animal watching. Collect folliage with kids and make bucket lists to enjoy this Fall.

    Our mental health and wellbeing is as essentail as theirs. I always remind everyone. You as an autism mom, its ESSENTIAL for you to be balanced and strong inside and out to become the best care provider for your child.

    Don’t be a stranger, Leave me a comment below on how you likes this post and what should I write next on.

    Follow me on my Social platforms especially Instagram where I share DAILY stories and musing on all things Autism health, Recovery, Wellbeing, Lifestyle, Parenting, Mental Health and so much more.

    Join our Facebook group to be able to watch me LIVE (Tuesdays with Dr. T) where I come in front of my peeps and share the latest update on how to be their best parenting self and how to provide the best support for their child’s developmental success.

    Sign up for our weekly Serenity mail where I share updates, video tutorials and so much more.

  • Warning!! Here’s what most Autism Nutritionist and Dietitians are making you to believe about “autism diets”

    Don’t even think about joining their bandwagon before reading this…

    Well I see a lot….I mean almost “all” of the dietitians and nutritionist I see on social media, make contents about diet foods for our child on the spectrum. We follow them because:

    A. It is coming from an “authority” who studied and has taken some certification so ofcourse they know better right?

    B. The food they are asking you to choose are “easy to feed and do not require much effort to feed on your end”.

    These are “food” such as “chocolate covered freeze dried strawberries”, or “Crispy Cauliflower Bites”, “Chickpea Fluffs” or something similar that comes in a package and has preservatives and has sugar, msg (connected to neurological dysfunctioning) and the likes of stuffs full of fluffs like these chickpea fluffs….ugghhhhh…..

    It is one thing to be hassled and make the parent and our beloved super picky eaters to try new foods but introducing packaged food as “health foods/ Real food” are just not acceptable.

    Here’s WHY you MUST ABSOLUTLY cut down on “packaged health food goodies”

    1. Packaged food are dead food. The more alive food read fruits and veggies the better. At least if you do get packaged vegetables and fruits, I do too, make sure they are frozen raw fruits and veggies without any Processing done. I use frozen produce to make our meals.
    2. Packaged food contains “Preservatives and Flavoring agents” which are chemicals that increase the toxic load of your child’s body. His body already is in a nutritionally deficient state and has higher toxins and you getting him extra chemicals is weakening his system.
    3. Packaged food are HARD TO DIGEST. Because it comes in a form that our body do not recognise right away as food. Your autism child has lower digestion capabilities and add hard to digest food like commercially mass prepared “crisps and fluffs”
    4. Packaged ready food are Inflammatory in nature. In connection to the above point, what the body cannot recognise it reacts to by treating that as a pathogen and enemy and rather than trying to digest these food are either shoved aside and rots in the colon leading to constipation. Or they are fought off which increases inflammation. either way they are ruining the digestive system.
    5. Packaged food as real food is a brainwash. The food industry wants you to buy from them its their profit. So to keep earning they add labels like “organic, added vitamins, minerals, real fruits, vegetables” etc. words which makes you feel you are buying real food. That is a brain wash and eye wash and it in turn wash you of money which you can invest in buying natural produce and also these washes the child off from getting the right food the right way.

    The reason all these food and the authoritative figures telling you to feed your child such food is because of YOU my friend. No, I am not saying its your fault in any way…..I am saying this:

    You are tired, exhausted, out of touch with your inner wisdom. You want someone to ease your burden. You will rather die than someone asking you to try harder!!

    I TOTALLY GET IT!!

    The will power it takes to choose effort over ease is very taxing on you. It kills you when your son closes his mouth when you attempt to feed him the meal that you lovingly made. Or worse throw the food away and scratches or bites you!

    BUT feeding your autism child real food on a daily basis can be effortless, easy and rewardingly possible.

    That is done by Understanding you. Your resistance, your anxious energy and the fact that you are totally alone trying to feed him good food. Your spouse might not be on board and put all the work on your shoulder, other family members might tell you that you are trying the wrong way etc. etc.

    When you find yourself alone, the easiest option will always sound the best! And you WILL choose them. That’s human psychology and that’s how the industries get hold of you in the first place.

    That’s why I have taken all my learnings (as an autism mom who went from having a low functioning non verbal child to having a verbal, happy, healthy and thriving child) and made that into a system. This is my 5 Pillars to Autism Health, Recovery and Success.

    The 1st Pillar to that is your MINDSET.

    When you truly “Believe” the route that needs to be taken and then you work out to break free of your inner resistance (that might be your trauma response) then only you can feed your child all the health foods with ease and grace.

    More on that later. I want to leave you today at this.

    If there is one thing to think is to know this….

    Food that are alive, that rots, that can grow and are from the earth is real food. Real food are what the body can digest, process and the nutrients be available to use. Added vitamins and minerals are synthetic in nature or are hard to digest by an already overburdened digestive system. The Choice is Yours.

    If you want to learn more come join my Instagram of Facebook group.

    And If your inner wisdom says that you need the system to make life easier, to be able to feed your child real food, to see your child happy, healthy and reaching milestones than I recommend you consider to join my Autism Recovery and Success Program. All links are in the Contact page. Bye.

  • Supercharging your health as an autismmom: 5 Steps for higher energy, focus and serenity!

    Are you eating and drinking your way to keep up with the daily grind of being a special needs parent?

    Do you numb yourself by indulging in this piece of cake, that pie and those cookies and by the end of the day you feel defeated that you didnt make those healthy choices you promised yourself you would?

    Have coffee became your water? or Bread became your solo food?

    If any of these sound familiar you are not alone. They were the bane of my existence too!!

    I would woolf down half a loaf of commercial bread (count 8-10 slices/day!!) in my quest to fuel my body which always felt fatigued, like there is a dino sitting inside my brain and it is heavy and woozy. I was also sevely sleep deprived because my son on the spectrum plus my hypersensitive girl baby kept me awake every night one way or another.

    Come morning I would pump carb and dairy, sugar and chocolates to feel energised and comfort my emotions of feeling defeated.

    Good news is you dont have to feel so.

    Truth is You need to have the “JUICES” inside of you to be able to perform better without feeling yucky, overweight, sloppy and bone tired.

    Today I am sharing the 5 steps that I took to clean up my act, give me sustained energy, serenity, ability to keep up with the kids’ developmental needs, providing them with all the help that is part of my Autism Recovery and Success Program and also hold space and be a great coach to other parents aiming as such.

    HERE WE GO…

    1. Elimination Diet.

    This is essentially removing food groups that are known to be hard to digest, create allergies, sensitivities and intolerance from your diet for 2-3 weeks and then slowly re-introduce one food group at a time to see how your body reacts. Altogather it takes about 4-5 weeks to accomplish and I HIGHLY RECOMMEND you do so to ascertain your unique food blueprint that rather than keeping you energised is making you fatigued and zappy.

    Foods to avoid are:

    • Citrus fruits: Avoid citrus fruits, such as oranges and grapefruits.
    • Nightshade vegetables: Avoid nightshades, including tomatoes, peppers, eggplant, white potatoes, cayenne pepper and paprika.
    • Nuts and seeds: Eliminate all nuts and seeds.
    • Legumes: Eliminate all legumes, such as beans, lentils, peas and soy-based products.
    • Starchy foods: Avoid wheat, barley, corn, spelt, rye, oats and bread. Also avoid any other gluten-containing foods.
    • Meat and fish: Avoid processed meats, cold cuts, beef, chicken, pork, eggs and shellfish.
    • Dairy products: Eliminate all dairy, including milk, cheese, yogurt and ice cream.
    • Fats: Avoid butter, margarine, hydrogenated oils, mayonnaise and spreads.
    • Beverages: Avoid alcohol, coffee, black tea, soda and other sources of caffeine.
    • Spices and condiments: Avoid sauces, relish and mustard.
    • Sugar and sweets: Avoid sugar (white and brown), honey, maple syrup, corn syrup and high-fructose corn syrup, agave nectar, desserts and chocolate.

    The 1st step is Elimination phase where you stop majority or all the above food for 2-3 weeks. YES YOU CAN SURVIVE without them. You need to focus on these Food that you can eat:”

    • Fruits: Most fruits, excluding citrus fruits.
    • Vegetables: Most vegetables, excluding nightshades.
    • Grains: Including rice and buckwheat.
    • Meat and fish: Including turkey, lamb, wild game and cold-water fish like salmon.
    • Dairy substitutes: Including coconut milk and unsweetened rice milk.
    • Fats: Including cold-pressed olive oil, flaxseed oil and coconut oil.
    • Beverages: Water and herbal teas.
    • Spices, condiments and others: Including black pepper, fresh herbs and spices (excluding cayenne pepper and paprika) and apple cider vinegar.

    for me I actually went a step further and stopped rice too as I suspected I had Candida infestation out of whack. You will know you have when along with all the above mentioned symptoms you also have allergies, eczeema, sinus issues and frequest cold spells hitting you.

    After the Elimination phase comes the reintroduction phase. Where you add one food group at a time for 2-3 days and see for these symtoms:

    • Rashes and skin changes
    • Joint pain
    • Headaches or migraines
    • Fatigue
    • Difficulty sleeping
    • Changes in breathing
    • Bloating
    • Stomach pain or cramps
    • Changes in bowel habits

    If you see after you added dairy you see one or more of the above symptoms then you are now sure that dairy is your nemesis. Generally speaking Dairy (except butter, ghee and yogurt), grains esp Wheat, peanuts are the pesky ones in our diet.

    Side effect (pun intended!!) of this diet includes weight loss, increased energy, clear head, sinus troubles gone or very minimal, improved sleep, bloating/constipation managed and headaches or migrains says tata, bye bye to you. Wanna start?

    2. Exercise

    How can you think of health without exercise?

    Well that doesn’t need to be gym sessions or getting expensive instructors/memberships etc. You can opt for many other varieties such as

    • Swimming
    • Yoga or Pilates
    • Walking
    • Running
    • Jogging
    • Taking kids to school
    • Playing with your kids
    • Doing House chores at faster pace etc

    Pick the one you feel like doing and include that in your day.

    3. Morning Routine

    A solid morning routine will set you up for success. I have one I swear by it and yes I cant follow that 365 days but I aim for 90% which is very decent and I dont punish myself If I woke up late and missed that, like I had to today! SEE? It just has to be doable, important for you to fuel your personal need and you take the decision making out of your hands. Decision Fatigue is real mama!!

    I recommend you include these activities:

    • Wake up an hour early
    • Personal hygine and skin care
    • Take a probiotic or Candida support or Gut Health supplement (Below I will provide the one I use and swear by)
    • 15 min yoga/stretching
    • 10 min deep breathing/ meditation
    • 5 min to write the 5-6 To Do for that day
    • Prep and feed breakfast to kids and get ready for their school and your day…

    Wallah!! Done.

    4. Day Routine

    This totally depends on what you need to accomplish that day and your To Do will Determine. I recommend and teach my clients to have an ongoing “Not TO DO” list as well!! this is a list of things or activities or people that drains energy, joy and happiness out of your life. Put all the “should do” that others tell you to do but You dont feel to deep down. (well I wanna request to not chuck this post and the advices out because you dont want, because these are research based and totally awesome way to boost your success, happiness and productivity!!)

    With the being said take some time out and seat somewhere you wont be disturbed (ayy….stop that excuse!!) find a comfy place, get your journal and your favourite gel pen and then do this exercise…

    1. Design your Ideal Day (from how you wake up till you go to bed. Give yourself permission to feel what feels authentic and exciting to you to wake up to. When you write out your goals you are 47% more likely to achieve them. I will take that odds.
    2. What Do You Believe you NEED to overcome your pain and troubles and achieve your goals and freedom?
    3. What are the ways you can Prioritise task, Delegate to either another person or to an appliance (slowcooker anyone?) and Delete those that arent helping you reach your goals and dreams.
    4. Write down your 3 Year vision and then do the 5 years vision plan.

    Use the Ideal Day Vision and the 3-5 year vision template that you built to connect the dots on activities to incorporate, things to delete, help to seek, investing in yourself and in your child cleverly to get closer to the successful future version that you all are so worthy of.

    5. Nighttime Routine

    Starting 6 pm you should be focusing on dinner, winding down and preparing for sleep. If you are one crazy mama without a proper sleep or diet routines I invite you to join my private facebook group here https://www.facebook.com/groups/276102687017998 and gain access to your road to success and freedom!

    Your night time routine essential includes any task that will help you complete the day on an accomplished tone and prepare the next day and setting you up for success. Dinner of kids can be followed by yours and then cleaning the kitchen and any living spaces that you will use and see first thing next day. Then brushing and moisturising/ little massage session for your kids help them wind down. Next it’s your turn to relax, get some skincare and oral hygine done followed by a little mirror work. After you are done with all that look in the mirror and say I am grateful for……..fill up your blanks and that helps you feel connected and relaxed. Before noding off try a meditation track while lying down that will rewire your brain and prepare you for a night of beauty sleep 😉

    Here are some of the products and supplement I swear by

    Arbonne Gut Health (https://www.arbonne.com/ca/en/arb/AnnabelWade/shop-all/nutrition/gut-health/guthealth-digestion-%26-microbiome-support/p/2063%20CA

    Arbonne Inner Calm https://www.arbonne.com/ca/en/arb/AnnabelWade/shop-all/nutrition/wellness-support/innercalm-adaptogenic-de-stress-powder/p/6088%20CA

    Arbonne Protein shake Coffee https://www.arbonne.com/ca/en/arb/AnnabelWade/shop-all/nutrition/powders/feelfit-pea-protein-shake—coffee-flavour/p/2967%20CA

    or Chocolate flavour !!

    Digestive Enzymes (one after major meals) https://www.amazon.ca/Webber-Naturals-Digestive-Enzymes-Tablets/dp/B00DZSZE32/ref=sr_1_5?crid=1XO6ANEUP5YK6&dchild=1&keywords=digestive+enzymes&qid=1628118609&sprefix=Digestive+enzymes%2Caps%2C176&sr=8-5

    Magnesium Oxide tablets (One/every night after dinner, say bye bye to bloating and constipation) https://www.amazon.ca/Natures-Bounty-Magnesium-Oxide-500mg/dp/B00BMEHW7C/ref=sr_1_5?dchild=1&keywords=magnesium+oxide&qid=1628118689&sr=8-5

    Iron Supplement (Female Health) https://www.amazon.ca/Natures-Bounty-Supplement-Deficiency-Capsules/dp/B07NNRWNCN/ref=sr_1_2_sspa?crid=2L51N8TTQC6LN&dchild=1&keywords=iron+supplements&qid=1628118769&sprefix=Iron%2Caps%2C186&sr=8-2-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUEzOTQyN0I2WldYTDlXJmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwNzA5OTQzM0pCOFA2SVc2M0ZCNyZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwNzQ1NzI0MkZQVVlRRzhHWVlBSiZ3aWRnZXROYW1lPXNwX2F0ZiZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU=

    These are not affiliated links. I dont get any commission. Just My recomendations as I have been using most of them for months!

  • Potty Training Your Child With Autism: Your Ultimate Step By Step Guide To Conquer The Diaper Saga!!

    For the longest period of time I was scared and literally have mini heart attacks whenever potty training my son Muhammad came up. He was non-verbal and very low functioning when we started our journey. 1 year later not only he developed massive language, communication and social skills but graduated Pre-school with flying colours and pretty much potty trained.

    Why did I say pretty much?

    Because it’s been a recent development and he got 95% the hang of it and there are sometimes occational “misses”. Even with neuroatypical kids occational miss is ok when your child has been on the training for only a month or two!!

    Summer is here and a perfect time to potty train!!

    Grab a drink and Let’s dive into the nitty gritty of conquering this deeply stressful and anxiety inducing saga of being an autism parent, shall we?

    PS: Don’t want to read whole story? Read the HOT TIPS below each subheading

    (Although Reading The Full Story Is Highly Recommended!!)

    Step 1: Identify The Need and the reason why you are stuck

     Oh yes it means you get a serious nudge from somewhere that you can’t postpone this any further. For me it was enrolling him for his upcoming September ’21 Kindergarten. I was told that without “official Low Functioning” certificate I might be called in every time there is a poopy diaper of sort!! I didn’t want my child to feel embarrassed as Lord knows how that ends up making us feel. I never forgot how I felt in my early childhood as an unidentified neurodiverse with learning and memory difficulties. I had trauma memory from kindergarten days and I identified my trauma was the reason I was so scared and stuck.

    Another reason for my stuckness was that being a Muslim I can’t pray if I get spray or streaks of poop/pee in my clothes and body. Potty training meant a plethora of such accidents happening on the regular. So once I found my 2 big “why” I went on to researching on overcoming them. A lot of the times identifying the reason of stuckness automatically loosen up the stuckness in question because then the Reticular Activating System (RAS) can focus on finding easy, practical and low energy alternatives.

    Hot Tips:

    1. Get mentally and emotionally ready. Find out the emotional reasons you are scared to start and then brainstorm a game plan. A lot of the anxiety is just our mind’s preoccupation. When you shine light by identifying, accepting and acknowledging then its easy to overcome. Start right away. Find out the “Reasons and Emotions” telling you that either you or your child is not ready (or both!!)
    2. Find your compelling “WHY” behind the need to potty train. For me it was registering for school which requires him potty trained. Find yours.

    Step 2: Find Your Child’s schedule

    I got this idea from an occupational therapist who gave us a complimentary session over the phone telling me the need to find his rhythm and schedule…….

    But you know what?

    My son had no freaking schedule! The rule is to keep checking a freshly put on diaper every 1 hour initially and then every 30 min and then every 15 min. For me this sounded very ardous. Nonetheless I talked with his daycare teacher as he was spending a major portion of the day there. We compared notes on when she finds him wetting the diaper. She mentioned he stays dry until lunch which means until that he is actually busy playing and not drinking that much so he stays dry. But at home during weekends he wouldn’t have that schedule since I remind him and encourage him to drink plenty. I figured I need to remind him every hour or so to use the potty. Then sometimes I would totally forget and he would use the diaper to pee. I talked with my support system that I feel guilty and not good enough because I couldn’t remind him periodically!! I was kindly told that It is OK to forget since I was rearing both my kids on my own without any help or support. My emotional stability was way more important and since I started the journey several months ahead of time I can go slow.

    Permission is so important!! If you need someone to tell you this today, You Are Absolutely Enough and You Can Get Through This and Win with your child. I vouch for you.

    Hot Tips:

    1. Be a detective and try to gauge the routine of your child’s pee and poop timings. You can do this by checking his fresh diaper at timely intervals and note down.
    2. Get help on board by getting your partner, his daycare teachers and anyone living with you so that they can help you overcome the challenges and help you in the journey.
    3. Give yourself love and grace for taking things slow and steady. Use phone reminders to remind you to check the diaper if needed.

    Step 3: Establish A Routine  

    I made into a routine to take him to either the training seat over our commode or his Paw Petrol potty every morning after he woke up and then before going to school. I also identified that after coming from his daycare he gets his “chocolate almond milk” and would wet his diaper 10-15 mins after that. So I put on a phone reminder to remind him to try after his snack. The 4th time I would take him was after dinner/before bedtime. So I took on taking him to his potty for 4 times a day for the first two weeks or so. Sometimes he would pee, other times he would shake his head or even cry holding on to his pants. There were 2 reasons for the crying, 1. He genuinely didn’t feel like he needs to pee or 2. He was very cranky. It was most of the times the 1st one. The discernment on whether he was not ready I would gently take him and remind to seat. He will shake his head, I will then pull his pant down and if he gets angry/upset I will put his pants up and try 15 mins later.

    The Goal in this step is to create a new habit of taking him to the potty and encourage him with cuddle, praise, high 5s. No toys and especially no treats were used as I follow “The Autism Diet” protocol on him that I built for him and that I teach to my paid clients. Also giving treats and toys will make him wait for these to relieve himself and also this does more harm in the long run as your child will identify his responsibility to getting treats/toys as a norm. That will hinder progress.

    Hot Tips:

    1. Identify his/her readiness and buy a potty that will attract him and remind to use it often.
    2. The goal is to establish a routine. So start by 3-4 times a day on a regular basis at times when your child is prone to pee/poop and it fits your lifestyle too. Make any process easy for your brain and mind to follow by removing hurdles head on.
    3. The resistance you feel towards any aspect of parenting your child will transfer to becoming his resistance too. So get your mindset on track and then begin.
    4. Start by changing his diapers to pull ups if you haven’t already. Change his diapers whenever you can in the washroom so that he associates that business to the washroom.
    5. Then for the potty run taking your child to the washroom, pull down his pants and seat him on the “training potty” heads attached to the adult commode. Ask him gently to pee, use shushing/splashing sound for auditory cue and wait a few minutes. Then whether he does or not put him down, use a tissue to show him to clean up and then pull the flash.
    6. Thank him, high 5 or hug him for allowing you to do the steps. This mini task routine will give him visual cues on the steps he needs to take to pee/poop. Remember whether he does anything or not every time you must go him through the whole steps so that it becomes a routine and knows what is expected of him.
    7. Can try the whole steps with his kid’s potty too. I tried both ways. Also if your child is seating on the adult commode make sure the training head has a cushioned seat and also put a small stool under his legs so that he feels safe and secured.

    Step 4: Take The Plunge, Go Diaper less!!

    I saw the biggest results by just accepting the responsibility that there might be more cleaning to come but this putting on diaper wasn’t just working as he wouldn’t get the cues from his body. So on one fine Friday evening I got bold and after his daycare I didn’t put on his diaper until it was bed time. That weekend, I kept housework very light and gave my attention to remind him to pee in the potty. Yes there were wet and solid accidents but then after a few days he didn’t like the feeling of mushed up poop in his underpants. He is verbal in a lot of the ways but he still doesn’t verbally say he wants potty. So it was a challenge and so is more majority of autism child. I will be honest and say I felt exhausted, tired, angry and anxious. But as with all the other parts of building up “The Autism Diet” protocol I kept my eyes on the prize and went on.

    Hot Tips:

    1. After establishing some routine and regular potty timing that naturally comes to him, go diaper free.
    2. Use synthetic/swim trunks at home which will make sure he is not wearing wet pants and catch cold. That allowed the pee of flow out without soaking due to the synthetic nature of the material.
    3. Use cotton underpants to give the feeling of going diaperless and to also provide one layer of protection should there be poop accidents.
    4. Extend the number of times you remind your child as he grasps the timing and rhythm more with time.
    5. Keep fresh pants, wash cloth, wet tissue handy and nearby your kid to help you when needed.
    6. Praise every time he listens to you whether he actually pees or not. The positive encouragement works wonders and inspires him to try. Give extra love for a job well done!!

    Step 5: Overnight Deals

    When your child’s mind and body gets attuned to and he grabs his potty to pee or even poop then 80% of your job is done! After that keep reminding and asking, if he requires to use the potty or not at regular intervals or if he is too focused in his tv/play. Once he shows interest on his own you don’t need to shush him to do it as his brain has recognized and accepted this responsibility. Now it’s time for overnight training or naptime scheduling. Initially I will put on his diaper for the nap times as he would wet the bed sometimes being diaperless. Then as time progressed his holding capacity and bladder capacity/muscle tone improved. I watched for 4/5 days in a row that he didn’t pee during nap time and then I stopped using during naptime.

    As for night routine, same rules apply. Even though during wake times your child is free but put on a fresh one at night to gauge his schedule. I have seen for the past several days that my son wakes up with dry diapers so I am ready to let him sleep without one!! As a precaution I will put waterproof/ training mattress cover to soak on if there is an accident.

    There you go, I delivered the ultimate potty training guide for your autism child. If have been really scared deep down and have been giving “excuses” I TOTALLY GET YOU BUDDY, I DID TOO……………FOR YEARS!! And That’s A-OK!! The main thing is you can totally start, go through, finish and accomplish this monumental task when you break down the journey. Not All journeys are the same. My story will give you some perspective and we humans can do anything that we see others doing. So here I am dishing out all the “poopy deets :-D” for YOU. If you need more hand holding and a supportive tribe join my Private Facebook group called “Autism Diet Support” by clicking this link here https://www.facebook.com/groups/276102687017998

    I wish You ALL The Very Best mama, you got this and I am Here With You. Hugs!!