The REAL Autism Awareness We Need To Be Aware Of
Salam Alaikum, I’m back again.
Anyways, today I’m taking this time to chat with you guys about my take on what real Autism Awareness should be. As an autism mom, and a professional who’s working with kids on the spectrum, for the last about three years, I have had my fair share of real-life experience, lived experience, whereby I have seen differences that others are not accustomed to, or they’re not seeing the stuff that’s going on.
So in that context, I wanted to come in here and then really share with you guys about the real awareness we all should be aware of in April (Autism Awareness Month). And this is also a month of Ramadan, and I have made a, I have made a promise to myself that in this month, and both Ramadan and Autism Awareness Month be in one class, I have decided to come in, and then share the real side of what autism is, or the real side of what helping your child means and how you can have the best support for yourself and your children, child or children on the spectrum. Okay. So let’s start.
All right. So what is autism?
Autism is not a disease that you can cure. It’s a neurodevelopmental delay. So for those of you who do not know, a neurodevelopmental delay is something where the neurons of the brain are having delay or difficulty flourishing themselves, just like a neurotypical child’s brain would, okay, so the name itself, disorder means that the natural order is not in progress.
And there is a pause somewhere, which, in my experience in my faith, and I truly believe that we can start, right again, with the proper support. Even though we accept autism, it’s not the fact that we are not trying to help our child on the spectrum, right?
So what real awareness is, is this one, first of all, we need to accept our kids on the spectrum. We as parents, you know, me as a mom, and my husband, or you as the mom and your husband, first and foremost, as the parents, we have to accept our child’s condition, okay. Because if we do not accept a challenge, or a project, or a test, then we cannot keep going on, on the journey, right?
For example, if you sit on the exam, exam table, and then your teacher gave you the scripts and questions and everything, and you’re like, No, that’s not me.
I don’t want to give this exam why me?
Why am I giving this test?
That’s not fair on you or the child itself, okay.
So, the process of going about really helping your child is first to accept the child’s condition, because when you accept yourself then have you do not have that resistance energy, okay, you do not have the resistance towards finding the solution.
Autism, acceptance should also not look like this, it should not look like you accepting his situation and you’re like giving up like, you don’t want to go forward. You don’t want to help your child be the best version because you know it is possible or available to you.
So what I was saying is when we are accepting our child, when we are accepting the condition, that’s when we will have the mental capacity and strength and energy to go forward with the test. Just like when you are given a test. You just accept that it’s your test and you start scribbling away you use your intuition, you use your power, all strength, and everything, and put all the hard work into the test so that you come out of it as a winner. Okay? All right. So your child has a neurodevelopmental delay, which can be supercharged which can be recovered and can be transformed, which can be done a lot of things. A lot like another disorder.
A child’s condition can be managed properly can be maintained properly, okay? So if you are, if you are not accepting, then what’s happening is you will not want to find the solution. And if you accept and then give up, then also you will not find the solution, you see both where there is a problem, okay.
So when we are accepting the condition, for example, let’s say just for example sake because diabetes also is a disorder. So when a diabetic patient gets this diagnosis that he or she has that diabetes. So if the person just says, I don’t accept I have diabetes, I’ll keep on eating sugar. I’ll keep on having my stressful life.
I’ll keep on doing all the things that I have been doing because I do not accept my diagnosis. Is that going to help the patient? No. So what will help that person is accepting that he or she has diabetes, and then find out what causes what can be done to maintain the problem, what can be done to reduce the problems and symptoms that the person is having?
Similarly, with our children on the spectrum, we need to find out the root causes of why our child’s brain is not behaving properly, why our child is not understanding commands, and why our child is not having proper executive functioning, motor functioning, and all things in between. Okay. All right. So another piece of autism awareness and acceptability is autism is not a super ability, just like we are trying to make it way more out of proportion.
Autism is not a superability …. ASK that mom, who has not been sleeping for years, ask that child who has been hyperactive all day long, having 18 hours of you know, sleep awake time, and whatnot. Okay, so, and the child is not having social.
So autism is not a super ability, it does not mean that your child has suddenly become Superman or a super child. What it means is your child has a lot of struggles. Okay? And the experts and advocates, trying to say that this is a super ability, and we just have to let them be. It’s not helping the child, it’s not helping the mom.
So what autism is, is a different ability, the brain has some different capacity, the brain has some different struggles, which, when we help, it will be easier for that brain to catch up for the brain to be able to sustain and function and be independent because if I accept my child has autism has severe disabilities, learning disabilities, social anxiety and whatnot, then what’s happening is I am understanding that he or she will have a lot of struggles throughout their life. Right?
So as parents moms and dads, we have our responsibility toward our children to make sure that they can survive on their own and thrive on their own. Our intention with Autism Success Academy is not just to survive, but to thrive, okay.
We are all about having that success. And now that you know that, this is not a super ability This is not a disease, and neither it is permanent, like a permanent as in like, the severity is not permanent. You can recover a lot of things, but it also has a connotation about your child needing that support to be the best version of himself or herself.
I am neurodiverse I have had a really tough time in my cChildhood because people wouldn’t understand me, I wouldn’t understand people, my parents would understand me. And then I would be physically abused a lot, mentally, emotionally, psychologically, in all aspects, okay? I was even, let’s say if I had struggled in school, I wasn’t able to tell my mom about the struggle, and then my teachers would bully me, and my friends would bully me.
So, I believe that awareness should be the type of awareness whereby the condition is accepted by society and is accepted by the human in general. And support is given to the extent and degree and type that the child needs.
That’s the perfect world that we want. And you know, as in what happens in life, everything is not perfect. So you have to step up your game and then help your child.
Here are the five ways that you can help others except for your child, and also you can help your child be the best version of themselves.
I keep on saying about these five pillars that your child needs are no 1: A Natural Diet which is a well-balanced diet and good nutrition, a good source of vitamins and minerals and things that the brain needs to function properly to catch up on the delays.
So apart from the diet, we have the detoxification because our world our life, our food, and everything in between has contamination has chemicals has toxins and lots of things going on. And we know that all those toxins and chemicals that affect the brain affect the body in very negative ways, okay. So our attention should be to making sure that there is as little a chemical lifestyle as possible. As, as natural food can be our food, and then whatever that we use is where everything should be from the nature or as much as natural as possible.
The third thing that we need to make sure and ensure is a holistic lifestyle. Because the stress, the anxiety, the modern way of life is not conducive and conducive for proper development, let alone this affects the modern life that we have, you know, like nuclear family staying in an apartment and not seeing nature for days, that is affecting not just the neurodiverse kids, but it’s also affecting neurotypical kids.
Then 4th we also need to have conscious parenting, what does conscious parenting mean? conscious parenting is understanding your child’s need, understanding how his or her brain works, and giving that brain the support the understand the parenting pieces, that is needed by the child, to be able to be independent, to be able to flourish, to be able to blossom, to be able to become the best version of himself or herself.
If we do not know what the problem is, and we just accept what we are told, then we are just following the blind, you know, the blind, guiding the blind, it’s a lot like this, I highly suggest and recommend to you all to do your research.
Because as I keep diving deeper and deeper into this, I am finding lots and lots more connections that are missing in the real world. Because when you go to the doctor, they are the doctors and the professionals, the autism professionals are the people that we go towards, you know, to whom that we go to get the real awareness is to understand what’s going on with our child.
And if those people themselves are not equipped with all the latest research, they are not equipped with the open heart and an open mind needed, then we are in trouble because though they’re kind of blind, and then we are just following the blind so we are becoming blind as well. Okay.
And many of these professionals don’t have autism kids, they do not know how it is to raise a child on the spectrum. They are rarely Autism Adults or I don’t use the word autistic. So I’m sorry for that. If you’re not understanding what I mean.
So our real autism adult, an adult with autism who has become successful, we should go to those people to understand and help and equip ourselves to become the to help our children to become the best version of themselves. Right? Okay.
And the fifth thing that I always keep on saying is mum’s emotional health and well-being the importance of your stability, your acceptability, and your understanding because we are all made of energy, we are all made of vibration.
So when I, as a mom, if I am not thriving, if I am not happy, if I’m not healthy, then I can not take care of my child properly, or give him more than what’s needed. Because if my cup is empty, I cannot pour from that cup. So my cup needs to be overflowing, overflowing, you know, like, keep filling, filling, filling, and then there’s overflow and then the overflow you are giving to your child and this world, that’s when you will not feel like you are less, you’re exhausted, you are, your brain is not working properly.
You are super foggy yourself. Okay. So when I was working with my child, initially, what happened was I was not accepting the diagnosis. I was not accepting the diagnosis. I was just waiting for the world to take the problem out of me.
I have to be honest, because as I said, in this month of Ramadan, I will be the best honest version of me and then keep saying what is the truth for me, and for those who I serve, and if it resonates with you, then you are my people as well. Okay.
So when I was when my son was first diagnosed, I didn’t accept the diagnosis I did not accept did not want to be, did not have the courage, I did not dare to accept my child’s condition except for my child’s situation, because I was neurodiverse, I know how hard that is how painful life is when the world doesn’t understand you, and you do not understand the world.
That went on for about two years. And then slowly, bit by bit, I was like, this is not working for me, waiting for, you know, official diagnosis waiting for official people to step in waiting for the protocol that’s going on that we should follow, because whether you are in Bangladesh, or any other countries or country of the world, everywhere, we have similar sort of treatment or facilities for autism, okay. So I stopped waiting for others to help me.
I accepted my child’s condition, but I did not accept that he is his condition is permanent. Because I had it in me, I felt this urge that I need to help my son to thrive. Because if I am dead, if I’m not here, then who’s going to take care of my child?
Even if not, like me, at least, I couldn’t bear with it that my son would always be, you know, like, under someone else’s. I lack a better word. You know, I just sometimes I still feel like there is a part of me, which is still traumatized because nobody wants to have a struggle nobody wants to have an exam, which we do not know how to answer. We are not prepared for this test. Let’s say we studied all night, nine-month for math, no, nine-month for chemistry. And then on the exam day, you are given a math paper, and this is your final exam and the result affects you for your entire life. Okay.
So yeah, the fifth point that is that will help you be aware of what’s going on and help your child is you understanding your emotional health and well-being because you need to create that boundary, you need to create that acceptance inside of you. And then only people will understand and give you that because if we feel like just because I am an autism mom, others will understand my problem.
It’s not going to happen. Nobody understands nobody else’s problem in our business, you have to be the one taking full responsibility because we are 100% responsible 100% of the time. How so? So you’re responsible for the way that life can happen to you. But you have to have that faith and thought that life happens for you. Life does not have to happen to you, but life happens to you.
So whenever something happens, we can do it in two ways. Either we just reject the happening, okay? Or we accept it, and then we give our best shot. Okay? So that’s how we are responsible because something can happen to me, but it’s how I react to it that determines the result, the outcome, and the end goal. Okay. All right. So with that being said, I wish you all a happy Ramadan, let me know in the comment if any of this resonated with you if you truly believe that your child’s brain is not permanently disabled, like we are sometimes told, because until age, until the age of you know, like seven-ish, the brain still has a lot of capacity is still a lot moldable.
I have worked with nine-year-old kids, and we have seen a lot of improvement as well. So what I’m saying is naturally and progressively brain has brain improves, and can be a lot more how to say like, supercharged, transformed in the early stages of life. So because that’s when the brain is more neuroplastic, that’s when you can mold it, and reshape it the way that you want or the child needs.
So now you can do that by making sure that your child has the proper nutrition the child has a clean environment, inside and outside the child has a holistic lifestyle, you know, gadget-free, as less as possible nature play playing outside you giving time to your child. And I sometimes see that you know, some professionals writing in their social media posts that the parents are to blame. You know, they are very angry and very annoyed with the parents wanting their child to thrive and survive fast. What’s wrong with that?
What’s wrong with a mom asking or demanding or commanding their child to become the best version of themselves as soon as possible? Because we Alhamdulillah see a lot of good results in two or three months within two or three months. Okay, so why shouldn’t other parents get the same opportunity, get the same opportunity of experiencing those lovely, magical transformations in front of their eyes.
So I would also suggest autism professionals rethink their work to rethink where they’re standing to rethink why they have started this journey in the first place. Because if you came to this just like a profession, then you need to work hard on yourself.
But if you have come if you have chosen this, this sector, this niche, because you want to help the child, then I request beg, beg you to read more, to research more to understand more on how you can truly help just because you were taught some five or six stuff or 10 or 15, you know, like, just because you were taught some modalities and you truly believe and you are very much stick stuck to this thing that this is the only thing that works.
That’s not helping our children. Okay, that’s not helping our children.
So in this month of Ramadan, and in April autism awareness, I highly suggest requesting that all of us who are in this niche who is autism moms or dads or a professional working with the child, learn more, understand more to give more time to read the latest research to give more, have an open, open idea and try to feel how it feels to be an autism mom try to feel how it feels to be on autism dad.
Thank you so much for being here with me. I’ll catch you in the next one.