Worried About AUTISM? Here is What You Need to Know About Autism From a Mom’s Perspective [Also a PRO]
As’salamu Alaikum, I’m back again to talk about Autism from my perspective and to minify all the buildup of “worried about autism”.
Anyway, today I’m taking this time to chat with you guys about my take on what real Autism Awareness should be. As an autistic child’s mom and a professional who’s working with kids on the spectrum, for the last 5 years, I have had my fair share of real-life experiences, whereby I have seen differences that others are not accustomed to, or are not seeing the drawback that’s going on.
So in that context, I wanted to come in here and really share with you guys about the real awareness we all should be aware of in April (Autism Awareness Month). This is also a month of Ramadan, and I have made a promise to myself that this month, and both Ramadan and Autism Awareness Month be in one class, I have decided to come in, and then share the real side of what autism is, or the real side of what helping your child means and how you can have the best support for yourself and your children, child or children on the spectrum. Okay. So let’s start. All right.
What is AUTISM?
Autism is not a disease that you can cure. It’s a neurodevelopmental delay. So for those of you who do not know, a neurodevelopmental delay is something where the neurons of the brain are having delay or difficulty flourishing themselves, just like a neurotypical child’s brain would, Okay, so the name itself, disorder means that the natural order is not in progress.
And there is a pause somewhere, which, in my experience in my faith, and I truly believe that we can start, right again, with the proper support. Even though we accept autism, it’s not the fact that we are not trying to help our child on the spectrum, right?
We as parents, first and foremost have to accept our child’s condition. Because if we do not accept it as a challenge, a project, or a test, then we cannot keep going on the journey, right?
For example, if you sit for an exam and then your teacher gives you the scripts and questions and everything, and you’re like, No, that’s not me. I don’t want to take this exam why me? Why am I taking this test? That’s not fair to you or the child.
So, the process of going about really helping your child is first to accept the child’s condition, because when you accept yourself then you do not have the resistance to find the solution.
Autism, acceptance should also not look like this, it should not look like you accepting his situation and you’re like giving up, you don’t want to go forward, and you don’t want to help your child. Be the best version because you know it is possible or available to you.
Why Mums are Worried About Autism.
What I was saying is when we are accepting our child, when we are accepting the condition, that’s when we will have the mental capacity, strength, and energy to go forward with the test. Just like when you are given a test. You just accept that it’s your test and you start scribbling away, You use your intuition, you use your power, all strength, and everything, and put all the hard work into the test so that you come out of it as a winner. All right. So your child has a neurodevelopmental delay, which can be supercharged which can be recovered, and can be transformed, which has a lot of scope for improvements.
A child’s condition can be managed properly and can be maintained properly. So if you are not accepting, then what’s happening is you will not want to find the solution. And if you accept and then give up, then you will not find the solution, you see both where there is a problem.
So when we are accepting the condition, for example, let’s say just for example sake because diabetes also is a disorder. So when a diabetic patient gets this diagnosis he or she has that diabetes. So if the person says, I don’t accept I have diabetes, I’ll keep on eating sugar. I’ll keep on having my stressful life. I’ll keep on doing all the things that I have been doing because I do not accept my diagnosis. Is that going to help the patient? No, so what will help that person accept that he or she has diabetes, and then find out what causes what can be done to maintain the problem, and what can be done to reduce the problems and symptoms that the person is having?
Similarly, with our children on the spectrum, we need to find out the root causes of why our child’s brain is not behaving properly, why our child is not understanding commands, and why our child is not having proper executive functioning, motor functioning, and all things in between. So another piece of autism awareness and acceptability is autism is not a super ability, just like we are trying to make it way more out of proportion.
Autism is not a superability …. ASK that mom, who has not been sleeping for years, ask that child who has been hyperactive all day long, having 18 hours of you know, sleep awake time, and whatnot. Okay, so, and the child is not having social.
So autism is not a super ability, it does not mean that your child has suddenly become Superman or a super child. What it means is your child has a lot of struggles. And the experts and advocates, trying to say that this is a super ability, and we just have to let them be. It’s not helping the child, it’s not helping the mom.
So what autism is, is a different ability, the brain has some different capacity, the brain has some different struggles, which, when we help, it will be easier for that brain to catch up for the brain to be able to sustain and function and be independent because if I accept my child has autism has severe disabilities, learning disabilities, social anxiety, and whatnot, then what’s happening is I am understanding that he or she will have a lot of struggles throughout their life. Right?
So as parents moms and dads, we have a responsibility toward our children to make sure that they can survive on their own and thrive on their own. Our intention with Autism Success Academy is not just to survive, but to thrive.
We are all about having that success. And now that you know that, this is not a super ability This is not a disease, and neither it is permanent, like a permanent as in like, the severity is not permanent. You can recover a lot of things, but it also has a connotation about your child needing that support to be the best version of himself or herself.
I am neurodiverse I had a really tough time in my childhood because people wouldn’t understand me, I wouldn’t understand people, and my parents wouldn’t understand me. And then I would be physically abused a lot, mentally, emotionally, psychologically, in all aspects. I was even, let’s say if I had struggled in school, I wasn’t able to tell my mom about the struggle, and then my teachers would bully me, and my friends would bully me.
So, I believe that awareness should be the type of awareness whereby the condition is accepted by society and is accepted by the human in general. Support is given to the extent degree and type that the child needs.
That’s the perfect world that we want. And you know, as in what happens in life, everything is not perfect. So you have to step up your game and then help your child.
WHAT ARE THE 5 PILLER OF AUTISM RECOVERY
Here are the five ways that you can help others except for your child, and also you can help your child be the best version of themselves. These five pillars that your child needs are :
- 1:- A Natural Diet which is a well-balanced Diet and good nutrition, a good source of vitamins and minerals, and things that the brain needs to function properly to catch up on the delays.
- 2:- Detoxification. Because our world, our life, our food, and everything in between has contaminated chemicals toxins, and lots of things going on. And we know that all those toxins and chemicals that affect the brain affect the body in very negative ways. So our attention should be to making sure that there is as little a chemical lifestyle as possible. Natural food can be our food, and then whatever we use is where everything should be from nature or as much as natural as possible.
- 3:- Holistic Lifestyle. Because the stress, the anxiety, the modern way of life is not conducive for proper development, let alone this affects the modern life that we have, you know, like nuclear family staying in an apartment and not seeing nature for days, that is affecting not just the neurodiverse kids, but it’s also affecting neurotypical kids.
- 4:- Conscious Parenting. What does conscious parenting mean? Conscious parenting is understanding your child’s need, understanding how his or her brain works, and giving that brain the support the understand the parenting pieces, that is needed by the child, to be able to be independent, to be able to flourish, to be able to blossom, able to become the best version of himself or herself.
If we do not know what the problem is, and we just accept what we are told, then we are just following the blind, you know, the blind, guiding the blind, it’s a lot like this, I highly suggest and recommend to you all to do your research.
As I keep diving deeper and deeper into this, I am finding lots and lots more connections that are missing in the real world. Because when you go to the doctor, they are the doctors and the professionals, the autism professionals are the people that we go towards, you know, to whom that we go to get the real awareness is to understand what’s going on with our child.
If those people themselves are not equipped with all the latest research, they are not equipped with the open heart and an open mind needed, then we are in trouble because though they’re kind of blind, and then we are just following the blind so we are becoming blind as well. Okay.
And many of these professionals don’t have autistic kids, they do not know how it is to raise a child on the spectrum. They are rarely Autism Adults or I don’t use the word autistic. So I’m sorry for that. If you’re not understanding what I mean.
So our real autistic adult, an adult with autism who has become successful, we should go to those people to understand and help and equip ourselves to become the to help our children to become the best version of themselves. Right?
- 5:- Mum’s Emotional Health and Well-Being the importance of your stability, your acceptability, and your understanding because we are all made of energy, we are all made of vibration.
So I, as a mom, if I am not thriving, if I am not happy, if I’m not healthy, then I can not take care of my child properly, or give him more than what’s needed. Because if my cup is empty, I cannot pour from that cup. So my cup needs to be overflowing, overflowing, you know, like, keep filling, filling, filling, and then there’s overflow, and then the overflow you are giving to your child and this world, that’s when you will not feel like you are less, you’re exhausted, you are, your brain is not working properly.
You are super foggy yourself. Okay. So when I was working with my child, initially, what happened was I was not accepting the diagnosis. I was not accepting the diagnosis. I was just waiting for the world to take the problem out of me.
I have to be honest, because as I said, in this month of Ramadan, I will be the best honest version of me and then keep saying what is the truth for me, and for those whom I serve, and if it resonates with you, then you are my people as well. Okay.
So when I was when my son was first diagnosed, I didn’t accept the diagnosis I did not accept did not want to be, did not have the courage, I did not dare to accept my child’s condition except for my child’s situation, because I was neurodiverse, I know how hard that is how painful life is when the world doesn’t understand you, and you do not understand the world.
That went on for about two years. And then slowly, bit by bit, I was like, this is not working for me, waiting for, you know, official diagnosis waiting for official people to step in waiting for the protocol that’s going on that we should follow, because whether you are in Bangladesh, or any other countries or country of the world, everywhere, we have similar sort of treatment or facilities for autism, okay. So I stopped waiting for others to help me.
I accepted my child’s condition, but I did not accept that he is his condition is permanent. Because I had it in me, I felt this urge that I needed to help my son to thrive. Because if I am dead, if I’m not here, then who’s going to take care of my child?
Even if not, like me, at least, I couldn’t bear with it that my son would always be, you know, like, under someone else’s. I lack a better word. You know, I just sometimes still feel like there is a part of me, which is still traumatized because nobody wants to have a struggle nobody wants to have an exam, which we do not know how to answer. We are not prepared for this test. Let’s say we studied all night, nine months for math, no, nine months for chemistry. And then on the exam day, you are given a math paper, and this is your final exam and the result affects you for your entire life. Okay.
So yeah, the fifth point is that will help you be aware of what’s going on and help your child understand your emotional health and well-being because you need to create that boundary, you need to create that acceptance inside of you. And then only people will understand and give you that because if we feel like just because I am an autistic mom, others will understand my problem.
It’s not going to happen. Nobody understands anybody else’s problem in our business, you have to be the one taking full responsibility because we are 100% responsible 100% of the time. How so? So you’re responsible for the way that life can happen to you. But you have to have that faith and thought that life happens for you. Life does not have to happen to you, but life happens to you.
So whenever something happens, we can do it in two ways. Either we just reject the happening, okay? Or we accept it and then give our best shot. Okay? So that’s how we are responsible because something can happen to me, but it’s how I react to it that determines the result, the outcome, and the end goal. Okay. All right. So with that being said, I wish you all a happy Ramadan, Let me know in the comment if any of this resonated with you if you truly believe that your child’s brain is not permanently disabled, like we are sometimes told, because until age, until the age of you know, like seven-ish, the brain still has a lot of capacity is still a lot moldable.
I have worked with nine-year-old kids, and we have seen a lot of improvement as well. So what I’m saying is naturally and progressively brain has brain improvement, and can be a lot more how to say like, supercharged, transformed in the early stages of life. So because that’s when the brain is more neuroplastic, that’s when you can mold it, and reshape it the way that you want or the child needs.
So now you can do that by making sure that your child has the proper nutrition the child has a clean environment, inside and outside the child has a holistic lifestyle, you know, gadget-free, as little as possible nature play playing outside you giving time to your child. And I sometimes see that you know, some professionals writing in their social media posts that the parents are to blame. You know, they are very angry and very annoyed with the parents wanting their child to thrive and survive fast. What’s wrong with that?
What’s wrong with a mom asking demanding or commanding their child to become the best version of themselves as soon as possible? Because we Alhamdulillah see a lot of good results in two or three months within two or three months. Okay, so why shouldn’t other parents get the same opportunity, get the same opportunity of experiencing those lovely, magical transformations in front of their eyes?
So I would also suggest autism professionals rethink their work to rethink where they’re standing to rethink why they have started this journey in the first place. Because if you came to this just like a profession, then you need to work hard on yourself.
But if you have come if you have chosen this, this sector, this niche, because you want to help the child, then I request beg, beg you to read more, to research more to understand more on how you can truly help just because you were taught some five or six stuff or 10 or 15, you know, like, just because you were taught some modalities and you truly believe and you are very much stick stuck to this thing that this is the only thing that works.
That’s not helping our children. Okay, that’s not helping our children.
So in this month of Ramadan, and in April autism awareness, I highly suggest requesting that all of us who are in this niche, autistic moms or dads or a professional working with the children, learn more, understand more give more time to read the latest research to give more, have an open, open idea and try to feel how it feels to be an autism mom try to feel how it feels to be on autism dad.
Thank you so much for being here with me. I’ll catch you in the next one.
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